If you’ve never had to urgently use the bathroom at a Mexican restaurant but when you get up to the door you find it’s occupied so you wait outside in desperation until the person using it comes out and then you go in and see that the toilet is absolutely disgusting so you resign yourself to holding it in and dealing with the stabbing pains of 3 bowls of refried beans with cheese and valentina sauce desperately trying to exit your body one way or another – then are you even capable of understanding the true nature of sadness?

Based on my experience, “those people” actually believe(d) that the US government is literally paying every person south of the border vast sums of money to come live here. If I had a dollar for every variation of “if you’re broke, travel to Mexico and cross the border back into the USA, they’ll give you a free debit card” I’d literally be able to afford to fly to Mexico, cross back over into the USA, and then be disappointed that nobody’s getting those magical debit cards conservatives are convinced are being handed out like candy. And I’m brown enough I’m sure I could be confused as being “Mexican”.

I just lean into that part of my boomerism. No, for any SANE person reading this, I am not a member of the baby boomer generation, which is the original meaning of that word. I just happen to be older than 33, so to 77.8% of the current internet, I’m basically ancient.

Sometimes when people are experiencing loss or feeling emotionally fragile, what they really need is a whimsical story from a time in my personal history where everything was simply just better overall like in ancient history.

When I was growing up, we literally did not even have a computer to tell us what to think. We had a Britney Spears and colorful Asian ninjas to teach us right from wrong. Our phones didn’t have “data” and we got charged ten cents a message to send somebody a text, so we used our words wisely, because they also put a limit on how many letters qualified as a text. None of these smiley faces and penis-looking vegetables bullshit either.

One time I got locked inside a tanning booth run inside the gas station in Westerville Plaza. I guess all the employees went home and it was so far out, I could not get signal on my Nokia. Ended up typing up a message and then I threw my damned phone out the door the instant I pressed send, somehow my best friend Malika got my message about an hour later the sheriffs showed up. I was burned to a crisp and smelled like a fried bologna sandwich but I survived thanks to the technology of the day. So really, we don’t need all these Googles and YouTubes and Instagags. Just need sturdy phones that can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. Which is how we should all live our lives.

I’ve heard in the latest season the kids finally qualify for social security but now they’re being hunted down by rogue agents at the AARP who are jeopardizing their ability to live on a fixed income.

You gave up on Reddit because mods can ban you for random reasons unrelated to your behavior? That’s one of a small set of problems that’s literally much worse and more prevalent on Lemmy.

One of us always tells the truth, one of us always lies.

I’m a simple man. I cesium food, I eat ze yum food.

Let me borrow that top.

Honestly, to an English speaking North American with typical deficient exposure to the complexities of a lot of other cultures and languages, a lot of the English-language translations for shows and movies from other parts of the world end up coming across that way. Mostly, I just assume it’s something lost in translation and totally not a big deal, of course.

We all love to hate on Walmart, but in my part of the world, it’s got the closest implementation to what I consider acceptable self-checkouts.

The biggest quality of life feature is that they don’t use the the weight sensors in the bagging area. You can use the hand scanner to scan every item in your cart sans weighted produce, as fast as your body will allow.

On the flip side, most of the chain grocery stores in my area have the bagging area scanners that need constant overrides, use AI cameras that lock up after every third item and require an override each time, slow machines that seem to have to compute the pi to the 10 sextillionth digit after each item is scanned before it will be ready for you to place it in the bagging area, and things of that nature. Those suck for sure.

The sad part is, this image is still noticeably better quality than most of the stuff that ends up on those “confusing perspective” and similar type communities where there’s supposedly something hidden or confusing going on but actually it’d be perfectly recognizable and not confusing at all if the photo weren’t compressed all to hell and back multiple times using shitty settings.

That’s my precious little Sssussssan.

That’s me. It takes me awhile to get to the point of saying I’m hungry, but once I’m there everything gets foggy, extremities start going numb, I get tingly sensation in my face. My brain will not work, the only thing it will actively think about is food, and even that’s kinda shaky. If I can do something completely mindless, that’s okay, but if you expect me to answer questions, make decisions, or do anything mentally taxing then that’s not going to work out very well for either of us. Yes, diabetes 1 & 2 run in my family.

This is what I hate about going on vacation. I never know how many kimonos to pack. General guideline is 3 per evening, but it seems like every trip I always end up having to rewear a garment at least once.

YOU DON’T KNOW HOW LITTLE I CARE ABOUT PUSSY THOUGH

That’s a spicy meat-a-ball.

No wonder the bull didn’t carrot all.