Which of course will be garbled nonsense, but it did exactly what you asked.

Is it possible that someone took a copy of hitlers book, shoved it into VLC, took the video it spit out, and somehow we got a president from that process? Garbled nonsense. Highly racist. But it did what you asked!

Wait…does this explain Mark Zuckerberg? They put a piece of cellery, mixed with dog shit, and out comes Mark Zuckerberg who’s almost a real boy?

Rallys/Checkers fries? Or Burger King? Because there is a HUGE difference!

Or Wendys?

Or McDonalds?

WHOSE FRIES ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??? I WANT TO WATCH VIDEOS ON FRENCH FRIES!!!

George george, george of the jungle! Strong as a bumblebee! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!

Hi there!

Was it Batman? I hear he’s blind as Ray Charles.

Well that’s because they don’t like you! You’re not well liked in the spider community. You wouldn’t like it if some astroid fell down and destroyed your home, and took away all your food.

So now spiders don’t invite you to their raves, and Spiderman won’t save you. And he’ll even save J Jonah Jameson. Admittedly begrudgingly so.

“Heres a baggie with a toothbrush, a travel size toothpastea box of raisins, 50 pennies, and an apple”.

You should change a coworkers map to say “New Muxico” instead of “New Mexico”.

Just to see how long they take to notice.

Well, it IS hard to care about a multinternational sex ring that targets billionaires as clients including the current and some former presidents, when there’s no pizza at the meeting.

No pizza = not important.

That’s how these things works right? Bring donuts, kind of important. Bring pizza? Oh fuck! Shit just got real! Bring muffins? This meeting could have been an email.

Noooooooo!!!

Oh, sorry…

Ooooooooooo!!!

But…but…but…

“What should I do?”

“What do you think you should do?”

“I think I should ask my therapist for advice on what I should do.”

I sit on toilets with the lid down. At that point it’s just a chair.

Hi. Not rich person here. I find him cringe.

Fun fact, the prank calls only lasted the first few seasons because the writters couldn’t think of more prank calls.

Best we can do is $3.50.

What do you MEAN no??? People just don’t want to work these days!!!

I’ve never seen a depressed cat. What’s wrong with that cat, and how many cuddles will it take to…

cuddles the cat

Nevermind. I’m just going for it.

I used to work at a gas station. I’d have to clean the bathrooms once per shift.

The mens bathroom? A couple of wet spots next to the toilet. I always attributed this to the guys who end up getting multiple streams, and don’t know what to do.

The womens bathroom? Look. I know women bleed once a month. I get it. But ladies, what the fuck are you doing in the gas station bathrooms??? Are you having coat hanger abortions??? Is it like a woman thing to all contribute to one communal blood pool? There is no way these nightly horror scenes all came from one person unless they had a recently chopped off limb! Is Freddie Kruger attacking you ladies while you’re pooping? I have never figured out what the womens bathroom experience is, but it has SHATTERED any illusion to me that women are cleaner/neater than men. We may leave dirty laundry around the house for days, but you gals have an exorcism as you toot.

See, this is why everyone says girls don’t poop. They DON’T poop. They disembowel.

I must be doing it wrong. I gave birth to some kidney stones years ago.

Do not reccomend.

Don’t worry. I don’t pee on trees. I pee on my neighbors.