I can’t believe the devil is so unforgiving

Deep East Texas native living in Houston checking in. My cousin lives out in Odessa, TX. If that place ain’t a desert I don’t know what is.

I once purchased floor mats for my specific car brand. Years ago. For months it tried selling me new floor mats for every brand of car in the world. I still occasionally get an email asking if I want floor mats for cars I’ve never owned. Like I’m the mat collector or some shit.

Yeah, that’ll do it!

Honestly, the most surprising part is I was driving at that hour. I work from home so usually I roll out of bed at 745 and start working. If I get in the truck it’s usually late afternoon to pick stuff up from home Depot or haul gear so that’s why I disabled the control for automatically setting the volume. By the time I’m in the truck I’m ready to jam. Except that one day.

Not as hard as either of y’all’s, but it happened to me with Clutch, The Mob Goes Wild. Alt-metal/stoner rock. That’s a fun song playing through my helmet at full blast riding the motorcycle through the countryside. Not as cool when I crank up the truck at 6am the next morning and it continues playing from my phone automatically.

I would guess he thought he was sterilizing it.

Tangentially related, or at least it made me think of it.

Orson Scott Card said this:

Ender’s childhood is based, albeit loosely, on my own; his relationship with Peter and Valentine is based, not on my actual relationship with my older brother and sister, but rather on the way I conceived those relationships to be when I was Ender’s age. Ender’s revised understanding of Peter late in life parallels in emotion the same revision I went through in my teens as I discovered… my childish view of my older brother was hopelessly wrong

For those that don’t know, Peter abused the hell out of Ender. Not a huge spoiler. Another time he said this:

The dark secret of homosexual society … is how many homosexuals first entered into that world through a disturbing seduction or rape or molestation or abuse

Then he went on to write several of the same character. Either homosexual or asexual who takes a wife in order to raise children. But it’s literally never about the woman. Anton was mostly open about his sexuality but married a woman. Ender had no sexual urges (there was a lot of underage homo-adjacent stuff and some sister stuff, but not necessarily gay) until he married. And did he marry her for her? Nope. The first thing he thinks of is how her 6 kids need him. Ansset is gay and married a woman. It’s pretty obvious he believes a lot of folks are gay because they were abused and it’s pretty obvious he was abused. And he believes those men should get married and raise children because that’s the highest calling.

I’m not usually a “homophobic means closeted homosexual” but I’m of the firm belief that Card is so far in the closet he’s finding Christmas presents.

Oh, I’m well aware. Not once have I ever been tempted to tickle a pickle that wasn’t my own. I’ve never struggled with homosexual thoughts. If I had I can almost promise I’d be face down in a whole pile of dicks right now.

I was quoting, as accurately as I could, a dipshit I know. I haven’t seen him since high school, right after I left the church, but this always stuck with me. I knew that pastor as well. That guy talked all the time about how Satan was going to make everyone gay and how he was tempted so he understood what the youth was going through. I remember being 14 and wondering when I’d get secret gay thoughts because of this dude. Apparently I was so steeped in sin that Satan didn’t feel the need to make me want to gobble cocks as well.

It’s a damn shame because I think I would have made an excellent gay guy.

"Ah, but they choose to act on it! You see, my old preacher struggled with gay thoughts all the time because of Satan. He told us so nearly every Sunday. But did he act on them? No! He was straight, just as god intended.

So those people having gay thoughts are CHOOSING to be gay when they could pray and get a wife and have children like the lord said."

-Some dipshit I know

often are looking for fleeting pleasures to mask trauma or other mental health challenges.

I thought I told you to stop reading my journal.

Oh, he gets butt nekkid.

What is a juggalo?

Keeping that in mind makes one a bit more sober about what they post.

Speak for yourself, buddy!

I salute you. I love the fact that everyone takes off the day before or after a holiday and the entire time between Christmas and New Year. No one is around so I get to sign in, turn on my script to keep my computer from sleeping, and walk away.

I did check the backups this morning. I’m sure some jackass wants to deploy tonight since it’s a 3 day weekend. Not my problem and backups are good as of 10am. If they call me out over a holiday weekend my contract is very specific about the on call fee, holiday pay, and minimum hours. So today I’m just hanging out and prepping for Saturday’s cook out.

🎶If it takes forever I will wait for you

For a thousand summers I will wait for you🎵

What movie? Never heard of it.

And the biggest drunk! Wait…

Some kids are born with a Visa in hand

Lord, they swipe like they don’t give a damn

But when that new skin drops in the store

Dad’s card maxed out again, for sure, yeah!

–

It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no billionaire’s son

It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t got no golden gun, no

It’s rough not being able to testes testily down the stairs.

A bunch of first draft song lyrics, too. I know a lot of idea generation for songs has gone that way. Most songs in popular genres sit in the same basic scaffold so it’s been easy for them to say “give me a (4, 6, or 8) line verse talking about such and such. Then give me a chorus that reinforces that idea. Ok, how do we move the second verse forward? Give me a couple of chorus variations. Big emotional high point bridge”. Then they go through it with a scalpel to make it coherent and keep it flowing. Then they do another 10, varying the number of lines, the number of verses, or remove the bridge or whatever.