It’s so wild how things have become today. When I got my first “grown-up” job in 2007, I had one interview. The first half was legit interview, while the second half was a tour of the workspace, where I was spoken to as if I was already hired. By the end, I was hired, and I stayed with that job for a few years.

I had just turned 18 and was still in my final year of high school. The application for the job was a packet of physical paperwork (no online applications.) I found it by walking around and looking for “Help wanted” signs in windows.

Goddamn, how things have radically changed. These days, I can’t find anything decent without relying on recruiters on Indeed reaching out to me. I have found jobs through searching myself, but they were shitty. Recruiters reaching out to me years ago started me on a career path I hadn’t originally searched for (but that I enjoy and have stuck with since then), and then found me again last year when I was looking for a better company to work for. It’s nice to be sought out, but I’d like more to be able to see all my options and have a choice in the matter. Oh, and it’d be real nice to not have to rely on a private third-party company to know who’s hiring in the first place.

But the work required to research multiple places on one’s own, put in applications and multiple rounds of interviews… it’s exhausting and prohibitive.

Looking back to how I got that first job, it feels like I squeezed through a rapidly-closing door. Hiring simply doesn’t work that way anymore.

It took me a moment to realize you were referring to Cosmo the magazine. I saw that OP’s username is Mr Fish and immediately thought of Cosmo and Wanda.

My work has a DoorDash account and uses it exclusively. When management decides to order food for us, it has to go through DoorDash.

The other week I was told they’d buy lunch for my team. Thing is, we all have different dietary needs. I was told to pick something for lunch, and when I did I was told, “Oh that restaurant doesn’t use DoorDash. Pick somewhere else. Also it’s a $10 limit.”

Oookay. My lunch being at an earlier time than many in my team, a lot of places that I would order from aren’t open yet. I don’t do fast food, which limits my choices further. Then you can’t put custom information in your order (like, “the #14 sandwich, but with no cheese”) which right out of the gate means a lot of options are out of reach. The $10 limit was also ridiculous, as food prices have been rising higher and now even the most basic things will be around $12 minimum. Navigating the site alone was a headache on top of it all, as it isn’t intuitive for someone with dietary restrictions. I eventually gave up and told my manager, “I know this was intended as a treat for us, but this is too stressful for me to try to do while I’m also working.”

Thankfully, someone else already knew of an option that would work for me, so I went with that. It sucks that although my work place is trying to be inclusive, being limited to DoorDash (and a $10 price ceiling) makes that incredibly difficult. I’d rather just be given the $10 and be done with it.

I can see that, I should’ve clarified that I meant American English speakers. I hear some of the most godawful Spanish pronunciations from fellow American English speakers. It’s like they’re not even trying. Perhaps it’s related to learning how to read the language alongside speaking, but even so we’re taught pronunciation rules.

I will concede, something in my brain processes language differently. On the one hand, I need English speakers to repeat themselves more frequently (despite being a native speaker.) Phone calls are hell, and captions on shows/movies go a long way toward my comprehension of the dialogue. On the other hand, people my age aren’t “supposed” to hear some of the subtle differences in novel foreign sounds that I pick up on. I know not everyone hears things the way I do, so if I’m being too harsh on people who can’t help it, I apologize.

Haha, I do think the “raising pitch around strangers” thing is a sort of protective behavior. Like a cuteness reflex of sorts, trying to show that I mean no harm and hope none will come to me. That’s what I figure, at least. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of women subconsciously do the same thing.

Around family, I’m not sure. It’s possible it’s a throwback to being a kid and being told my voice was “whiny.” Or it could be a side-effect of the deeper voices around me being louder, so I talk that way to make my voice clearer in the mess. I wish I knew, but that’s what I reason it probably is.

(I know you were probably joking, but autistic brains gonna autist.)

That’s funny. My accent in Spanish is… interesting. I learned the language as a teen, amidst meeting people online from all around the world. So my accent has become an interesting mishmash of sources, none of which sound English.

Side note, I can’t stand how English-speakers pronounce Spanish words. All of the Spanish vowel sounds are all right there in English! I understand that Rs, Ds, Bs, Vs, and even Js might be difficult for English-speakers to pick up, but I don’t understand why English-speakers don’t use Spanish vowels correctly. It boggles my mind.

Not an accent, but my girlfriend absolutely raises the pitch of her voice on phone calls and when meeting strangers.

I get it, I’ve noticed my own pitch changing based on circumstances. I (also a woman) raise my pitch with strangers too. It’s like a subconscious “please be kind to me” sort of thing. Yet with my family, which is mostly men/boys, my voice goes lower. I don’t think about it at the time, it just happens.

It slightly bugs me that the U in “YOURSELF” isn’t also rainbow. A hidden message of “BE YOU” makes much more sense than “BE YO.”

Unless that’s the point, like a meme I’m simply out of the loop for.

I have a coworker who has ground rules like that for her kids. She says they’re allowed to swear around her, provided that it isn’t excessive. However, she instills boundaries on it. No swearing at school, with extended family (who might disagree with her choices), and some other rules. She emphasizes that the context is important, and as long as the kids respect those rules, they won’t be in trouble for it.

And here I figured the popularity of online porn made most people ambidextrous masturbators. I mean, if a righty uses a mouse in their right hand…

It also frustrates me how restaurants in international airports only follow the local “meal schedule.” If everyone were in the same timezone all day, then okay, I can see why you’d only offer breakfast before 10am. But that isn’t the case in an international airport. Why are all the dinner places closed? (Rhetorical question - I know the answer is “$$$”)

But if you’ve been flying for hours, jetlagged from changing timezones, and you still need to catch a connecting flight, you may be ready for dinner/supper. It sucks when you want a more substantial meal, but the only options are eggy breakfast sandwiches and doughnuts.

It just makes more sense to offer options for any time of day in a place that’s open 24 hours, where you know the people you intend to serve will be on different meal schedules from what the locals might follow.

And that includes allowing people to buy/drink beer. But alas, those damn blue laws supersede all of that.

Oof, yeah, same. There’s too much cringe.

I also can’t stand fight scenes. They’re way too intense. The best I can do is zone out when they happen and at the end ask whoever’s watching with me, “Who won?”

It’s sad how terms get co-opted. I get it’s part of the progression of language, but it still sucks.

I soak up the feelings of those around me, but it’s not some hippie woo-woo thing. I don’t think it’s “special,” just uncontrollable empathy. I love watching game shows because I take in the excitement and happiness of the crowd/players. On the flip side, if I see someone crying, it’s hard to stay neutral, because I feel their pain without trying to.

Is it a normal human reaction? Absolutely. Do most people experience it as strongly as I do? I have no evidence either way. It could be more extreme for me, but it could also be normal - just boiling down to differences in emotional regulation.

Either way, I guess I’ll be using the old, unambiguous term “empathic.” It still works, after all, and doesn’t carry the baggage of the newer term.

Sometimes I cry happy tears when I hear kids having a grand old time playing at playgrounds. That sort of pure joy is so far from my grown-up experiences, it’s like my brain can’t process it anymore.

Search for low-income housing.

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Yeah, just rub it in, why doncha

I love to make a positive impression on the world. I love to empower children, give comfort to those around me, to volunteer my energy and talents for a greater good.

But in the back of my mind, sometimes there’s a little voice that reminds me, “Whatever good you put into the world, your mom can vicariously claim to have created. This will never not be true, because she is responsible for your existence.”

And I hate it. I learned what not to be by observing her. I learned how hypocrites are able to function, how some people are able to override reality with their “feelings,” and how manipulators manage to get their way. Credit goes where it’s due, for sure, but she really shouldn’t be proud of the things she taught me. I became who I am in spite of her, not because of her.

I came to the same conclusion. I know how my mom reacts to news she doesn’t like - she defaults to denial. My memory has always been stronger than hers, so there’s no shortage of incidents that I remember, that she has long forgotten. (The tree remembers what the axe forgot, after all.) If I were to attempt to bring things up, she’d deny such things ever happened. Instead of me having catharsis and her having self-recognition, I’d be put in a defensive position and she’d say I’m exaggerating or making things up. Which is to say, attempting to have a serious talk with her always makes me feel worse.

Thankfully, I have siblings, and they remember what our childhood was like. We have all given up on trying to get our mom to see the light. Instead, we have a secret group chat where we can vent as needed.

This is why I love Lemmy. There’s a recognition that we’re all imperfect beings stuck in this crazy thing called “life” together. It only makes sense to support each other.

my existence is technically “illegal” lol

Small community Lemmy, you’re one of those commenters that I feel like I kinda know (even though I totally don’t. But I seem to upvote you a lot, so you’re recognizable in a good way.) I just want to say, I think this is a really cool fact about you. It’s like you were born a badass.

The only things that could make it cooler would be if you were born with your middle fingers raised, or your first words were, “Fuck the system” (in any language.)

Thank you for the clarification. I agree 100%!