This is interesting. They are very firmly in the bottom of my list and have no chance of moving up, but curiously, I don’t think I’ve ever had these soggy ones people are talking about. Actually the few I had were quite nicely crisped and I would wager must have been seeing of the best examples of their class. As a food on their own, not ranked alongside chips, they’re probably a more solid “kind of okay”, they just can’t go beyond last place in any such list because they’ll never beat actual chips. Crinkle cut almost managed to be terrible enough to be the first of it’s kind beaten by sweet potato fries but then I had to imagine being presented with either and no other substitutes and even then I couldn’t bring myself to pick the sweet potato despite them likely having an actually better crisp texture in that scenario than those awful crinkle cuts. Just not looking for sweet potato flavour at all if I’m having chips. I guess the trouble is, for me, making them in to chips is probably one of the best ways to make sweet potato tolerable but I just dislike them in the first place so it’s hardly going to be warmly embraced.

• Shoestrings
• Tots
• Wedges (but not the ones in this picture)
• Onion Rings (they’d be higher on the list but they’re not potatoes)
• Waffle
• Curly
• Zigzag (why do they always suck so much? In theory they should be great. Also why are they always sold at public swimming pools?)
• Sweet potato

Anything in the list gets to move up +1 when chicken salt is added if the other contenders don’t, except sweet potato or onion rings.

I’d like that too, but I don’t know how to program so it’d turn out to be a pretty cruel joke. I’d need that plus access to interdimensional internet so I could download scripts and be a scriptkiddy of reality.

Isn’t divine powers all of these?